Loss

Last week, our family suffered a great loss. We had to have our beloved cat, Felix, put to sleep after a long illness.

Felix came to us from “the streets”. Back in our first year of marriage, we were living in a modest (read: small) condo in Manassas. Just Mitch, and George, and me. There was this woman in our neighborhood, Susie, who we jokingly referred to as the “crazy cat lady”. While she was clearly a bit unusual, she indeed had a good heart. She took it upon herself to feed and care for all the feral cats that came around. She had a friend who was a mobile vet who would neuter any of the cats that Susie managed to capture.

But Felix was different.  He wasn’t wild.  He wasn’t skittish.  He seemed to WANT to be with people, to be owned.  Mitch was quite taken with him and wanted to take him in.  I was reluctant at first.  This cat had clearly been living outdoors for a while.  I had to think about what diseases he might have that could affect George.  But after the mobile vet had neutered him, and treated him for fleas and ear mites, I relented.  This vet also gave us advice on how to slowly introduce Felix to George in the least disruptive way possible.  After all, I had had George since he was seven weeks old – how might he react to another male cat in the home?  And would Felix finally show his wildness?  We did as the vet advised, keeping the cats separated for a few days.  It was kind of difficult to do, and seemed a little silly after a while, so we decided to just bite the bullet and see what happened.  So we removed all partitions and waited.  George and Felix slowly walked up to each other, gave each other a good sniff, and that was it.  From that moment, they behaved like litter mates.

I had been so worried about bringing Felix into our home and into our lives, but I never regretted it. The first time we brought him in, he went straight to the litter box, then jumped up on the couch, curled up and went to sleep. We decided he must have belonged to someone at some point and he had either run away, or been discarded. In either case, some other family’s loss was truly our gain.

For eleven years, Felix was the model pet. A bit mischievous at times, but always sweet and cuddly. He was the perfect fit with us, and with George. When the children started arriving, Felix remained calm, but kept his distance as he was no fool! Over time, he became more and more patient with them. Everyone who encountered Felix agreed that he was one of the coolest cats around….

  

For the past seven months or so, Felix had been losing weight.  Yet, he never stopped eating.  He basically camped out in the kitchen full time and begged to be fed all the time.  He’d had several tests, x-rays, ultrasounds, etc., seen multiple vets, yet none of them was able to come to a definitive answer as to what was wrong.  The only thing they knew to be true was that he continued to lose weight, he was severely anemic, and he was clearly never going to recover from whatever this was.  We were told that we could spend thousands more on diagnostics, but even if they found what was wrong, the treatment would be steroids which he was already on and they were doing no good.  He also had asthma which seemed to be getting worse.  We spent several weeks wrestling with what to do, hoping that at some point, there would be a clear sign.  While there wasn’t a point where he appeared to be at the very end, we thought hard about what he must be feeling.  Starving ALL THE TIME; using the litter box constantly and having other bowel issues that caused him to be cleaning himself almost neurotically; coughing and wheezing daily.  We decided we couldn’t prolong what must be so painful for him any longer.  After a final, sad conversation with his regular vet, who assured me that it was the most loving thing to do, we made the appointment.

It was a sad day.  The boys were at school, and Mitch met me and Maddy at the vet’s office.  We took our time saying our good-byes and many, many, many tears were shed.  We can only hope that this awesome, sweet, precious animal knew how much we loved him and how much he brought to our lives.  I think he knew.  As I held his face in my hands, crying and kissing him, and telling him how much we loved him, he didn’t even struggle to get away or get down off the table in a “WTH?!?!?” panic.  He just calmly stared back at me as if acknowledging that he was indeed, ready to go. 

It is still difficult, and I suspect it will be for a while. Mitch and I keep expecting to see/trip over him EVERY TIME we walk into the kitchen. This afternoon I swore I heard his “meee-wrow”. The kids have realized he has gone, and George keeps looking for him. The irony. All those years ago I was worried about putting George together with Felix. Now I worry about how he’ll handle being apart from him.

He is back with us now, and will always hold a place of reverence in our home, and in our hearts.

R.I.P. Felix the cat.  You were a truly awesome pet and will be dearly, dearly missed.  We love you.  xoxo