Tyler's story

After a long quest to have children, we realized it was not going to happen - and were told as much by the "experts". After the shock and the sadness and the soul-searching comes clarity. It became very clear to us that what we wanted was to raise children, even if we couldn't create them ourselves.

Adoption. A wonderful thing, but something Mitch and I didn't really know anything about. Time to research! We assumed that you just call an "adoption agency" and sign up... Unfortunately, it's a bit more complicated than that! But through our research and determination, we learned about private adoption - a process by which you find your own birthmother! Sounds like a stretch, but read on!

In November of 2006, Mitch and I attended a workshop facilitated by a wonderful organization called "Families for Private Adoption" (http://www.ffpa.org/). We learned all about the process - advertising, state laws, questions to ask potential birthmothers, ETC! It was all a bit overwhelming, but we were determined and inspired after hearing some pretty amazing stories from others. About 2 weeks later, we placed our first advertisement in multiple newspapers, had family posting flyers wherever possible, left our cards everywhere we went, sent out emails to everyone we knew, and set up a 1-800 number that would ring to my cell phone. We had a tremendous outpouring of support from friends and family. About 2 months later, on January 21st, 2007, as we were standing in the check-out line at the grocery store, my cell phone rang.

Her name was Jessie. She was 7+ months along and decided she couldn't keep the baby. She had seen our ad in the "Thrifty Nickel" newspaper. She wasn't what you would assume - a knocked up teenager who was being forced to give up her child. She was just a few years younger than me. She was a mother of 5. I won't share her entire complicated and somewhat tragic story as I feel that I should protect her privacy. The initial conversation was sort of rushed, and I can honestly say I think it was the most nervous I have been in my life! We agreed that Mitch and I would drive to Ohio the next day to meet her and her boyfriend (not the baby's father) for lunch. What a day that was. We were about half way there when a terrible snow/ice storm came through and we had to turn around and go home. We spent 13 hours in the car, drove about 600 miles and went nowhere. I was so scared that Jessie would just go to the next ad in the paper if we didn't make it that day. But she said to me on the phone, and I'll never forget it, "Don't worry honey, I'll wait for you". The following weekend brought beautiful traveling weather and we made our way to Ohio for our first meeting with Jessie. There was an immediate connection, and by the end of lunch it was a foregone conclusion that she would allow us to adopt her baby.

Between then and the day of Tyler's birth was an absolute whirlwind of attorneys, social workers, paperwork, not to mention preparing our home and ourselves to welcome a new baby! On March 8th, I drove to Ohio for the day to take Jessie to a doctor's appointment. The doctor decided that he would induce her the following day! I had thought we'd have a couple more weeks because he wasn't due until the 25th! I was in shock and I think I remember crying to Mitch on the phone "I don't think I'm ready!" But truly, is anyone ever ready? How can you be prepared for such a thing that changes your life on so many levels?

The following day, March 9, 2007, at 12:23 p.m., a beautiful and perfect baby boy was born. And except for the delivery nurse, I was the first one to hold him. I sat in a room for the longest time holding him and just staring at his little face. In an instant, he was my son, and I was a mother.

This picture was taken shortly after Tyler was born, by one of the nursing students who assisted with the delivery.

Several hours later, Daddy arrived.

Ours is not a typical adoption story. Within 5 months of making the decision to adopt, we brought our son home. We wish all couples seeking to adopt could be as fortunate as we were.

After bringing him home, there were several more months of attorneys, social workers, and paperwork. On November 21st, 2007 - a year to the day from when we placed our first advertisement - Tyler's adoption was finalized.